God's Wisdom on Fire

This is Estela Canama’s website. She is a freelance poet, writer and blogger from the Philippines. Her work has appeared in websites including Poetry soup and Family Friend Poems. . .

alt= "Explore the refreshing scenery of Apo Island, Negros Oriental, Philippines. Know your destiny by reading my personal testimony of knowing my purpose thru God's guidance."
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After leaving the portals of my Alma Mater, life is but a worry-free in terms of responsibility if school matter is concerned. Until few months later, I began to realize that after graduation there will be long way to go and more trials to undergo.  I started searching for my fate, hunting for a decent job to help sustain our needs. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you”( James 1:5).

I was utterly hopeless then, I take a rest and sighed so deeply, while looking for a sign, but nowhere to go with my constant exploration for God’s divine will. What will be the reason for living on earth that it seems to be that I’m out of place here? I hesitantly asked the Lord, and it took a long time that I was able to obtain His amazing reply. Horace boldly quipped, “Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and take as a gift whatever the day brings forth.”

 

Though strange to say, I was indeed hapless and the relentless pain of searching for my destiny is like a thorny road for me. Because of too much frustration, I began to make many excuses of not having a job: maybe because of my personality, my unceasing sickness or it might be that God has a better and perfect way for me. Until an instrument of God told me this, “Keep on listening God’s Word in your heart.”

I never know that God was using one of my friends in order to realize His divine will for me.  I’m so much grateful to her and I strive hard to capture the voice of God deep within me. However, I failed so many times due to lack of peace and because of doubts in my heart if the Lord would really reveal His divine purpose for my life. My heart skips a beat whenever I would remember those seemed to be wasted years in my life.  Buffon said it well, “Never think that God’s delays are God’s denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius.”

 

However, I didn’t stop with my exploration for His perfect will for me. I intimately listened to God’s Word in my heart. Through the ministry of the Holy Spirit I began to heed His voice deep within me. My most awaited reply came unexpectedly.  Sickness, doubts, frustrations and anxiety flee away from my life during this pleasant encountering with my Savior, Redeemer and Friend-Jesus Christ.

He led the way and I only found myself singing hymns of praise to the King. I would agree with Dante Alighieri when he said, “In His will, our peace.”  Though, we are still suffering from financial constraints, but I feel this tranquil spirit of God miraculously working to make both ends met. I do believe that when God ordains he will definitely sustain your needs. I’m so thankful to my family and especially to my sister for her unrelenting support and sympathy on my chosen career.

After almost three years of waiting God earnest reply, He speaks into my heart. I plea for guidance and his real intention for my life and he bestowed His answer, “My child, just wait, for you’ll be having your own job someday, just trust and have faith on Me. But before it will happen, you must be prepared for the length of time, you have waited is also equivalent for the tasks that I will give you.” My heart deeply marvels on His insightful reply. “As for God, His way is perfect, the Word of the Lord is flawless” (2 Samuel 22:31).

I am so grateful everyday while waiting for God’s appointed time for me even if the Lord doesn’t precisely reveal his plan for my life, but I’m now contented with His response. Until circumstances lead me to a habit of reading all kinds of mind- pondering reading materials and writing my personal experiences has been my habit before knowing God’s will for my life.

I keep on thirsting for spiritual growth and anything that will lead me towards virtuous thinking. Wynton Marsalis once said, “Invest yourself in everything you do, there’s fun in being serious.” Through the support of my family and my sister providing me some resources I became confident and determined in pursuing my fondest dream. Though at times, they are not really in favor of my newly found career, but I know this is just some form of testing that I need to overcome.

Through God’s overflowing wisdom bestowed unto me, I was able to come up with different kinds of written accounts; like poems, prayers, quotes, articles, helpful tips, and lyrics. These are the true manifestation of His purpose for me. And after few years since the time the Lord has spoken to me; I was able to publish some of my writings online. “ Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me” (Philippians 3:12).Truly, the length of time is indeed equivalent to the tasks He has in stored for me.

I’m looking forward for His guidance for every action that I’m going to take as I move into the spiritual race he wanted me to trudge. If before my life is like a race without a finish line that bounds to nowhere, but now I’m patiently and warily moving into the racing dome and looking forward to reach the blessed finish line with God my stronghold and light as I go on to unveil the brightest star in my life.” Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). Patience is really a great virtue that we need to have while living in this fallen world. And I do believe that God is never too late in fulfilling His purpose for me. He just came on time.